Chinese Woman,What You Missing

(Reproduced)"Chinese woman, what you missing?" This is a common social phenomenon existence any city of China, just I think that in this particular site of CLM, Chinese women face is no longer just the Chinese men but come from all over the world men; China's every woman also is not just as a individual to contact and man of any country but represent a state, because first you are Chinese and is a female. Therefore, it is necessary face up to the problem.

And I must say that I don't have any show mean , I also not is to prove that myself have how noble values, I don't belittle other any Chinese woman, I just tell the real side. As my own and I also are constantly find self and trying to improve myself of this process. I'm not perfect but I tried to get self perfect.

In addition, I also need to explain why I introduced "China women" the theme, but not the "Chinese men". And not many Chinese women here exist, it inspire my creation thought. "Mr. GuHongMing of famous modern scholars in" the spirit of the Chinese people, the Chinese women " said the national women it is the national flower of civilization, is the civilization of the national flower of country." "The great poet Goethe in Faust also said: the eternal women guide us up" " WangFengYi Late qing dynasty and early republic of female's educators had also said: women are the source of the world." Visible, as a female you don't just carrying as your own individual exist, at the same time you bear the shoulder heavy responsibilities role, as a mother, daughter, wife and society of women.

China an ancient and excellent national with five thousand years of civilization , Five thousand years Chinese nation the ancient sages of give us countless taught , many of the teaching is the truth and directs our thought and behavior leading us to find essence of life. One of them, the Confucian thought is a representative of Chinese traditional culture, the Confucius thought opinion "loyal ,filial piety,benevolence, morality and justice , etiquette, wisdom ,good faith” It may be said lasting charms and permanent applies to everyone of the society.


August ,I have a chance to listened a lecture of Chinese traditional virtue, it is a kind of public welfare qualitative identity appear, jointly organized by the central and local tour speech major cities in the country. I observed all the audience, women make up about 95% age span from more than 20 to more than 50 and age of around 30 in women make up about 80% of the women, this is why? 30 or so of women is a key growing stage , she must shoulder growth path of child of the right guidance, she establish harmonious family healthy growth of new coordinates, she adjustment own value and family center of gravity of the growth of the height. It reminds me of a sentence like that: lack sagacious people in world , due to the less virtuous girls . no virtuous females and no virtuous mother , no virtuous mother can’t have wise children. Have virtuous girls and have virtuous wife virtuous mother. Have virtuous wife and virtuous mother then the husband and the children who they are not sagacious people it is possible ?

I can't help still going to mention a phenomenon exist in CLM, about some Chinese women. As a Chinese woman we all have to acknowledge the fact that "in many western men eyes, Chinese women are not a good image." Investigate its reason ,don't know "virtue" what it is? they wild abuse own beauty and kindness to cover up a false sincere, in the war of love to find the strongest vitality on to the end of the survivor. So, this cause to many western men think Chinese women is not so sincere. Although, there are also some western men don't sincere, but if as Chinese women of us courage to refuse these are not sincere western men and no give any chance let them here to play emotion, then, if we will also be able to get more sincere come from each other. Why can't you sincerity? You, why lack honesty?Why you are not courage to refused? I had replied a western male: "if you want at the same time and several Chinese women keep in touch and you want come to China to meet several Chinese women, then, please consider don't stay in contact with me, because I can't accept and I also will be able to find you so behavior."

Then ,in real life, you can have how much sincerity? Here I will not talk about "sense of shame" (about and western man go to bed, the first article I have mentioned) we know, behavior by thought control, thought by desire control. You have such thought that caused you such behavior. We reflect on the real life, you let how much desire to dominate selves. Children in the process of growing up you really pay how much for that, you only have "mother" the title? Shopping spend time, if you can leave some give your children. Buy cosmetics of money if you can give children added some mental nourishment. I think that every child is the best of the best , no stupid kid only stupid mother. You sink into compare of the vanity the vortex of cannot extricate oneself and very painful? You also be desire huge empty swallowed with? Have you ever dislike your husband no dignitary and position no get promoted and no enough money? Are you still only use money "filial piety” your parents? If you pay attention to your child such as the emperor to your parents such as burdensome? Do you still back to parents there eat a meal want to bug out? If you ask yourself that as a mother, wife, daughter I really do some what ?

In today's China the traditional ethics is already a luxury. Some time ago, I watched a TV show is a blind date, it may be said true story "real reality". Mom take charge of situation , various sugar-coated cannonball throw to you but you cannot dodge, defeated calculate you deserved it, who let you don't have a rich dad and a wield power mom. Second, the moral character and material wealth first. In a word, if house, car and money all you having ok, you are my son-in-law. I'm thinking about seems money be able to bring all things, like old mama such choose and all the happiness rate is how many? For "the no any matter based marriages" all of the women are not willing to accept, old mama think marriage risk factor is too big. But it is only a start who can guarantee that rich marriage risk is less? I think that no feeling of marriage more risk. We must admit that it is nowadays China's social reality, so women not only old mama and have old mama's daughter. Many daughters also eager to hold tightly a cash cow use their young, beautiful to captive this kind of man’s desire. It is a rebirth, this will lead to the so-called Chinese rich and shall have the right to of the men keep mistress.

Women making hurt to each other !

Why? Due to the lack virtuous girls!

As a woman whether do you seriously think about yourself? You for your beauty and complacency? You for You have the right or rich parents and despising? You for your highly educated and proud? For you have rich income and satisfied? For you enjoy the life of luxury to show off? But, I want to say that this is not you, they're merely your accessories and your coat, the real you in your inner heart. Let your heart tells you who are you? What you are losing ?

When you are outside of the door of the traditional Chinese culture of moral and ethic, please slowly to knock on the door of western culture, in order to avoid indigestion. This seems like a child go the way is not stable and want to rush to break free from the mother's hand, is that may fall.We can see what now many Chinese women pursuit of western thought is open, sexual open, hedonism, put their eyes on money. She didn't know what she really need, just in the chase. If a woman really clear what she want and she is not too much desire. Please go to peek you for desire of restless heart , let it leads you to find you own original place. Please to examine own words and deeds, keep the traditional eastern the virtue of women.

中国女性，你，缺失什么？

“中国女性，你，缺失什么？”这是一个普遍的社会现象，存在中国的任何一个城市，只是，我个人认为，在CLM 这个特殊的地点，中国女性面对的不再仅仅是中国男性，而是来自世界各国的男性；中国的每一个女性也不仅仅作为个体去和任何一个国家的男性接触，而是代表着一个国家，因为你首先是中国人，然后才是一名女性。因此，大有必要来正视这个问题。

我也必须申明，我没有任何作秀的意思，我也并不是要证明自己有着如何高尚的情操，我不贬低其它的任何一个中国女性，我仅仅说出真实的一面。作为我自身，我也处在不断的发现自己，努力去完善自我的这一过程中。我并非完美，但，我力求自己得到完美。

另外，我还需要去解释为什么我引入“中国女性”这个主题，而不是“中国男性”。并不是这里存在许多的中国女性，它激发我的创作意念。“近代著名学者辜鸿铭先生在《中国人的精神》之《中国妇女》中说道：一个民族的女性，正是该民族的文明之花，是该文明国家的国家之花。”“伟大的诗人歌德在《浮士德》中也说道：永恒的女性，引导我们上升”“清末民初的女德教育家王凤仪老先生也曾说：女性是世界的源头。”可见，作为一个女性，你不只是承载着作为你自身的个体而存在，你同时承担着任重而道远的角色，作为一个母亲，一个妻子，一个女儿，一个社会的女性。

中国，一个古老而优秀的民族，有着五千年的文明史，五千年来中华民族的古圣先贤给予我们无数的教诲，许多的教诲是真理，指导着我们的思想和行为，引领我们找到生命的本真。其中，儒家思想是中国传统文化的一个代表，孔子的思想言论“忠孝仁义礼智信”可谓历久弥新，永恒不变，适用于每一个社会人。

今年8 月我幸得一机会，听了一个有关中华传统美德的讲座，它是以一种公益性质的身份出现，由中央和地方联合举办，巡回在全国各大城市作此演讲。我观察了所有的听众，女性占95%左右 ，年龄跨度从20多到50多 ，并且年龄在30左右的女性占整个女性的80%左右 ，缘何以此？30左右的女性是一个关键成长期，她肩负孩子成长路上正确的导向，她确立家庭和谐健康成长的新坐标，她调适自身价值与家庭重心成长的高度。它让我想起这样一句话：世少贤人，由于世少贤女。无贤女则无贤母，无贤母何能有贤子女。有贤女，则有贤妻贤母矣。有贤妻贤母，则其夫其子女之不贤者，盖亦鲜矣。

我忍不住，仍然要去提及一个存在于CLM 的现象，有关一些中国女性。作为一个中国女性，我们都不得不去承认一个事实，“在许多的西方男性眼里，中国女性并非一个好的形象。”究其原因，不知“美德”为何物？她们肆意的滥用着自己的美丽和善良去掩盖虚假的真诚，在这场恋爱战中，去发现生命力最强坚持到最后的那个幸存者。于是，这就导致了许多的西方男性看中国女性并非如此的真诚。虽然，也存在一些西方男性不真诚，但，如果，作为中国女性的我们能够对此类不真诚的西方男性勇于拒绝，不给予任何的机会让他在这儿玩弄情感，那么，是否，我们也将能够得到更多的真诚来自于对方。你，为什么不能够真诚？你，为什么少了诚实？为什么，你没有拒绝的勇气？我曾回复某一西方男性：“如果你想要同时和几个中国女性保持联系，并且你希望自己来到中国的时候去遇见几个中国女性，那么，请考虑不要和我保持联系，因为，我不能接受，而且，我也将能够发现你的如此行为。”

反观作为现实生活中的你，你有几分的真诚？这里我不再谈“羞耻之心”（关于和西方男性上床，上篇我有提及）我们知道，行为受思想支配，思想受欲望控制。你有如此的思想，才导致了你如此的行为。反思我们的现实生活，你让多少欲望主宰了自己。在孩子成长的过程中，你真正付出了多少，你仅仅只是拥有“母亲”这一称呼吗？你逛街的时间，是否能留一些给你的孩子。买化妆品的钱是否能多给孩子补充一些精神食粮。我认为，每一个孩子都是优秀的，没有笨小孩，只有愚蠢的母亲。你还陷入攀比的漩涡中不能自拔，而痛苦万分吗？你还被欲望巨大的空洞吞噬着吗？你是否曾嫌弃你的丈夫官做的不够高，钱挣的不够多？你是否仍然仅仅用金钱去“孝敬”你的父母？你是否视你的孩子如皇帝，对你的父母如累赘？你是否仍然回父母家吃完饭抹完嘴就想开溜？你是否反问过自己，我真正做了些什么，作为一个母亲，一个妻子，一个女儿？

在今天的中国，传统伦理道德，已经是一个奢侈品。前段时间，我观看了某电视台的一档相亲节目，可谓真人真事“真正现实”。老妈坐阵，各种糖衣炮弹迎面而来，你却不能躲闪，败下阵来，算你活该，谁让你不有个有钱的爸有权的妈。人品道德第二，物质财富第一。一句话，如果房子，车子，票子你都有了，行，你就是我的女婿。我在思考，似乎钱能生万物，如此老妈带来的幸福率是多少呢?对于“裸婚”，所有的女性都不愿意接受，老妈认为婚姻风险系数太大。但，它也仅仅才是开始，谁能保证有钱风险就不大呢？我认为，没有感情的婚姻风险更大。我们必须承认，它就是现今中国的社会现实，如此的女性不仅仅只有老妈，还有老妈的女儿。许多的女儿们也渴望去抱住一棵摇钱树，以自己的年轻，美丽去俘虏他的欲望。它是一个轮回，这也就导致了所谓中国有钱有权的男人养情妇。

女性在相残！

为何？世少贤女！

是否，作为女性，你认真思考过自己？你在为你的美貌而沾沾自喜吗？你为有钱有权的父母而傲视吗？你为你的高学历而自豪吗？你为拥有丰厚的收入而得意吗？你为享受奢华的生活而炫耀吗？但是，我想说，这并不是你，它们仅仅是你的附属品和你的外衣，真正的你在你的内心里。让你的内心告诉你，你是谁？你正在失去着什么？

当你还在中国的传统文化之道德修养、人伦礼俗门外的时候，请慢一点去敲西方文化的大门，以免消化不良。这就好似一个孩子路还没走稳的时候，就想急于挣脱母亲的手，那是会摔跤的。我们不难看到，现在许多的中国女性追求西方的思想开放，性开放，享乐主义，一切向钱看。她并不清楚自己真正需要什么，只是在追逐。如果一个女性真正清楚了自己想要什么，她是不会有太多欲望的。请去窥见你为欲望而躁动的心，让它引领你找到属于自己的本位。请去审视自己的言行，保持传统的东方女性之美德。